The Importance of Respecting Someone’s Gender Identity and Pronouns




By Artie Ray Hughes (He/Him)


In recent years, more conversations are taking place about gender identity and pronouns, but the earliest recordings can be dated back to 4500 years ago. There are those who dismiss transgenderism and argue that one’s gender identity is determined by their biological sex. UK Prime Minister Liz Truss was recently asked if a “Trans woman is a woman?” and she responded “No”. Those she describes as woke, believe gender identity is one’s connection to their own gender, which can be, but doesn’t have to be correlated with their biological sex. Similarly, one’s pronouns can, but do not have to correlate with their gender identity. Pronouns are words used to refer to someone or something when you don’t use a noun. This includes, he, she, they, you, I, we, and neopronouns, xe, ze and ey). 

I am a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns. I grew up in a very conservative small village, living around those who shared the same view as Truss. Face to face conversations about the LGBTQ+ community were out of bounds, so I took a lot of solace from the online world. TikTok became my safe space, where I learned about gender identity, which lead me to question and later find my own. I couldn’t wait to start my master’s degree in Manchester, in the hopes that I could live authentically as a transgender man. 

I arrived eager eyed, having been told that Manchester is a very inclusive and diverse place. However, the start of term didn’t go as planned. I thought that my generation are much more educated and accepting of people’s gender identity. However, within my first week of living in halls, I faced the most horrific transphobia from fellow students. Often, before I have introduced myself, people assume I am a woman and refer to me using she/her pronouns. Although this is hurtful, once I correct them, they correct themselves too. However, this time, that wasn’t the case. I introduced myself as Artie, a man, who uses he/him pronouns, and that wasn’t respected. I got called a woman, girl and referred to using she/her pronouns. I was left feeling disrespected, invalidated, and victimised. Deliberately misgendering someone is considered a hate crime. According to a survey carried out by Stonewall (2018), 41% of transgender men and women said they have experienced a hate crime or incident because of their gender identity in the last 12 months. 

We have the ability to lower that statistic. It is our collective responsibility to make transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming people feel valued within society. The way someone looks doesn’t determine how they identify and making assumptions about their identity can be extremely hurtful. Calling someone a person and using they/them pronouns is a great way to avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender identity. Although I don’t use, they/them pronouns, I feel much more validated if someone uses, they/them pronouns instead of mistakenly using she/her for me. 

It is really important that we normalise conversations about pronouns. When meeting new people at university, I have asked them their name and pronouns. Admittedly, sometimes it has felt a little bit uncomfortable because it is not yet considered a normal part of social interaction. However, the response has been overwhelmingly positive, with a few people saying that it is refreshing and appreciated that I asked them. 

Additionally, it is fairly common for transgender people to add their pronouns in their social media bios and at the end of their professional email addresses to avoid getting misgendered. This has sparked a ‘gender debate’, with those arguing that the world has gone too woke and we should stick to traditional pronouns. This is why it means a lot to me when I see cisgender (someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth) people fighting back by adding their pronouns to their social media bios and email footers. If this isn’t something you have done already, it’s something to consider doing.

To my transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming friends, I see you. Your gender identity and pronouns are valid. I hope you found solace in this blog post. To the cisgender ally’s reading this, thank you. I hope you found it informative. The fight for gender equality can’t be done without your support.


Bibliography

Amelia Hansford (2022) Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak say trans women aren’t women as toxic leadership race draws to close, Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak say trans women not women (pinknews.co.uk)

Kevin A. McLemore (2015) Experiences with Misgendering: Identity Misclassification of Transgender Spectrum Individuals, Self and Identity, 14:1, 51-74, DOI: 10.1080/15298868.2014.950691

Stonewall (2018) LGBT IN BRITAIN TRANS REPORT, pg 8, lgbt_in_britain_-_trans_report_final.pdf (stonewall.org.uk)


Link to my last article

The POWER Our Names Holds (letstartsomewhere.blogspot.com)

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