Today We Mourn, Tomorrow We Fight.


This blog has been written by two different transgender men - Artie (he/him) and Ray (he/him). These are our thoughts on an important day in the calendar for our community, and we hope our contributions to Transgender Day of Remembrance (20th November annually) shine a light on our community’s thoughts on the turbulent nature of events over the last year. 



I’m Artie, I’m 23 and I came out as a trans man when I was 22. I have always felt a deep connection to masculinity and never really felt like I fit into a community, until I went to university and met other transgender men.  I graduated in 2021 with BA (Hons) Politics, Philosophy and Ethics, where I first met Ray. The conversations I had with him about gender identity both changed and saved my life. 

Then, I graduated with MA Public Relations and Digital Communications and now work in the comms sector. Like Ray, I believe that education and visibility is the key to a more loving society. Social media is a great way for me to share content about the LGBT+ community. I love creating posts about my personal experience of being a transgender man and I’m touched to discuss that in more detail in this blog.


Transgender Day of Remembrance is an international day, held on the 20th of November, which remembers transgender people who have been killed due to gender based violence. The day also acknowledges transgender people who are fighting for their basic human rights to be respected.


Each year, as Transgender Day of Remembrance rolls around, I am filled with a deep feeling of grief and hopelessness. 


Hate crimes against trans people have risen by 11% in a year and by 186% in the last five years (Stonewall, 2023). Read that again. Shocking, right? It’s not shocking to the thousands of trans people who are part of that statistic. When I walk down the street I get stares, people trying to figure out what’s in my pants. When I click on my social media apps, I read death threats and comments from angry transphobes. When I meet someone new, I anxiously wait for the “she” to come out of their mouth, desperately hoping they see me as a man. I think “Will I be safe if they clock I’m trans?”. Unfortunately, the answer to that is most likely no.


I was struck by how fearful our community is when I attended the vigil for Brianna Ghey in Manchester. An innocent 16 year old transgender girl, who was brutally murdered by two teenagers. My heart goes out to her loved ones, and to anyone who has been affected by this tragic loss. The aftermath of her murder further demonstrated how transphobic our country is. While I held my trans friends close, with tears streaming down my face, media outlets and police were deadnaming her and questioning whether this was a transphobic attack. This must stop. 


We’re tired of fighting for our right to exist. Our hearts are breaking to see our trans siblings be murdered for simply existing as who they are. It’s terrifying, and we can’t fight this systematic battle on our own. We need our cis allies now more than ever. Write to your MP, go to a protest, sign a petition, call out transphobia, or simply hug your trans friends. We need to be reminded that we are loved, when the world seems to hate us.


It has been an honour to write this blog with my dear friend Ray. I hope for our trans siblings, this blog is a reminder that you aren’t alone and beautiful friendships can be formed in solidarity. I hope for our cis allies, this is a reminder to keep fighting with us and amplify our voices. We deserve to live freely and peacefully.


I’m Ray, I’m 22 and came out as transgender when I was 16, but looking back on my childhood I can identify feelings relating to gender dysphoria from as young as 7. Throughout my time at University I spoke on a podcast about my experiences as a transgender student, and was one of the very few transgender students nationally to compete in a single-sex sport for BUCS. I have decided to be as open as possible about my experiences in a cis-oriented society to allow others to learn about our community in a positive and non-judgemental way, as I personally believe education is our greatest strength. I am an NHS worker hoping to allow others to realise that we are regular people they meet every day, in a society which is becoming increasingly hostile.


It’s been a difficult year to be a member of the transgender community.


A lot has happened this year. For the first time I can remember, I feel threatened and unsafe as a transgender person, when I am supposed to be happy. I graduated; I’m starting a new job where I help people who are in dire need of help in the NHS; I’m looking forward to a Master’s degree. But this was also the year where I moved away from my biggest support network, and what happened around this sent me spiralling out of control. 


The Tory Party conference this year went over many goals and aims for the Conservative government - and attacked one of the most vulnerable minorities in this country. I never thought I would actively watch the Prime Minister of my country wipe away support for us in just two sentences: “We shouldn’t get bullied into believing that people can be any sex they want to be”; “a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, that’s just common sense.”

My heart broke upon hearing this. 


Leaving University this year as a graduate saw the end of my support network being just around the corner from me, as I have moved away from University. It’s tricky to navigate suddenly free-falling. Knowing you’re alone is a scary realisation on its own, without the turbulence of the comments made by the government concerning a community which makes up just 1% of the UK population.


Our whole community was shaken to its core when two teenagers murdered Brianna Ghey (The Independent, 2023). A daughter, a friend - a PERSON. A PERSON who was cruelly taken from the world, because of who she was. If it can happen to Brianna, it can happen to any one of us. What a terrifying thought - that any one of us can be walking down the street, going about our lives, only to be attacked, beaten, killed, for existing as we are.


Going into a job in the NHS - to help people, to provide the support vulnerable people will need, especially over the winter - is an exciting but nerve-wracking opportunity. The comments by former Health Secretary Steve Barclay suggesting that the NHS should be segregating transgender patients from wards due to “safety” deeply hurt me - I’m not a threat, why do people think I am? Transgender people already struggle to access healthcare, and the comments from the government will inevitably cause more struggles for our community. What’s more, it isn’t true - not a single NHS trust reported any complaints about transgender patients on single-sex wards (TransLucent, 2022). This only proves that our government sees us as a threat that we aren’t, scapegoating us and using our identities as a distraction from the real issues we face in the UK today.


I was deeply saddened to hear the story of Alice Litman, who died a preventable death due to the lack of gender identity healthcare in this country (The Guardian, 2023), and waiting lists which see us struggling without any help for years (GenderGP, 2021). Our government is actively killing the community and instead of helping us, saving lives, and ensuring human rights are met, they are throwing fuel on the fire to burn us faster. Alice, and countless others, suffered greatly under our Conservative government, and saw no alternative but ending their lives. This is unacceptable, and always will be. 


Today, Alice and Brianna are in my thoughts, alongside those who have been taken cruelly by others driven by hate, those who have struggled with demons and seen no other way out, and those who have been systematically failed by their governments and healthcare systems and lost their lives as a result. I am determined in my new position in the NHS to be unapologetically myself - I will prove we are not a threat. We are human, we are people, we are just living. It’s a scary decision, and it shouldn’t be - but if I can show just one person we aren’t a danger, I have succeeded. I owe it to my community.


To allies, friends, family, partners, siblings who are standing with us today - the fight begins now. We cannot sit here and allow our “democratic” government to wipe our rights away. Once again, the ban on LGBT conversion therapy will not go ahead this year, removed from the King’s Speech, marking five years of broken promises (BBC News, 2023). Write to your MP, write to the Health Secretary, protest. Call out transphobia you see online. Educate yourselves and ask trans people how you can help. Know that we aren't a threat, we’re people. Brianna was a person. Alice was a person. All of those who have lost their lives in our community were people. We’re people.


Bibliography

BBC News. (2023, 7 November). Conversion therapy ban not included in King’s Speech. Conversion therapy ban not included in King's Speech - BBC News

GenderGP. (2021, 16 March). NHS Waiting Lists Force Trans People To Leave The UK. NHS Waiting Lists For Trans People at Gender Identity Clinics (gendergp.com)

Independent. (2023, 8 March). Inquest opens into death of transgender teenage Brianna Ghey. Inquest opens into death of transgender teenager Brianna Ghey | The Independent

Stonewall. (2023, 5 October). New data: Rise in hate crime against LGBTQ+ people continues, Stonewall slams UK Gov ‘inaction’. New data: Rise in hate crime against LGBTQ+ people continues, Stonewall slams UK Gov ‘inaction’ | Stonewall

The Guardian. (2023, 13 October). NHS gender care delays ‘contributed’ to trans woman killing herself, coroner says. NHS gender care delays ‘contributed’ to trans woman killing herself, coroner says | Transgender | The Guardian

TransLucent. (2022, 29 December). Women’s Single Sex Spaces in Hospitals. Women's Single Sex Spaces in Hospitals. - TransLucent


Glossary


Cisgender: Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth. 


Deadnaming: Referring to a transgender person using their birth name, when they have changed their name as part of their transition. 


Hate crime: A crime, typically involving violence, that is motivated by prejudice on the basis of identity, in this instance, gender. 


Transgender: Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity is different to the sex registered for them at birth. 


Transgender Man: A man who is assigned female at birth.


Transphobia: Strong prejudice against transgender people. 


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